So last week we talked about being a difference maker and how to make changes to yourself. There was changing your thoughts, which is the core that will spread changes to your character. We talked about changing your actions and attitudes. Finally we talked about taking ownership where you accept your gifts and take charge of your life's choices. So now that you have made these changes how do you make the difference for others.
Perpetuate the change to others.
No man is an island . If you truly make a change in yourself, your interactions with others will change as well. Communication is the main key. It's how we interact with each other. I could be verbal or non-verbal communication. Here is a challenge, or a little test to see how you need to grow. You can check out the communication test from Discovery Health.
http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/communication_short_access.html
Remember you want to be successfully in life, you want to be a successful difference maker, then you need to learn to communicate better. Do you think you are a great communicator already. Well try asking your wife/husband, or friends. Make sure your ready for the response because it's not going to be what you expect.
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. - Proverbs 25:11
Listen
Communication is more than just talking and understanding the other people. There is often a very important element that most of us seem to forget. That is how to listen. It is really a lost art for a lot of people and is at the heart for most arguments we have in our relationships. We can really be difference makers if we listen because people are not use to being listened to. A persons self-esteem will be enhanced if they are listened to, heard, and understood. That is a bold statement but it's true. Words carry weight, and even the most self confident person can have doubt if the wrong words are spoken. So how do you listen?
Stop what you are doing!
How many times is someone trying to tell you something while your doing something else. Guys how many of you are flipping through the TV channels while your wife is trying to tell you the plans for the weekend? Try this, next time she starts talking, mute the TV, turn around and pay attention. You may want to take a CPR course before trying this so you can revive her.
Be patient and let them finish
There is several conversation stoppers. Finishing the other persons sentence, rushing to answer or argue, or any other interruption shows not only disinterest but disrespect. Girls how many times have your guy been talking about his hobby and your response was just short, “whatever” right in the middle of his story. I know we sometimes talk about things your not interested in, but girls do it to. How much better would we get along if we would put ourselves aside and considered how the other person felt?
Pay attention to what they are saying.
So what did I say? Seriously, though you are not so poor that you cannot pay attention. If you didn't understand then ask questions. Not only pay attention to what they are saying but how they are saying it. A recent UCLA study shows that up to 93% of communication is non-verbal.
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to advice. - Proverbs 12:15
You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger. - James 1:19
Care
There is very little that people care about in this world outside of their own comforts and personal concerns. Stop and think about the last time you felt cared for. Who was it that made you feel that way and how did that do that? Now ask yourself, who was the last person that you expressed care or concern for? Why did you do it and how can you do it for others? The world will tell you the opposite of love is hate. By that standard I'm doing good, I don't hate anyone. However, the opposite of love in life isn't hate, it's unconcern.
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:17-18
In James 2:2-6 it talks about caring for people without discrimination. It gives an example of a rich man coming in and getting the best seat, and then the poor man getting the floor. Pay attention to God's warning. The poor are those who are rich in faith and who will inherit the earth.
Appreciate
One of the biggest things you can do for someone else is appreciate them. This can be applied in all of your relationships. Appreciate your significant other, let them know they are appreciated and why. Appreciate your co-workers, because their work affects you. Appreciate the waitress who is working hard to bring you food to the table. Appreciate your children, your parents, your friends and complete strangers. Bobby Soules taught us a very effective way to let other people know that they are appreciated. Look at them and tell them, “I appreciate you.” See it's not that hard, but make sure your actions line up with your words.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:13
You would be surprised at what blessing you can receive when you open up communications with others. We need to make sure to celebrate diversity and seize the opportunity to learn from each other.
I want everyone reading this to know that I appreciate you, and as always contact me if you have any questions, concerns or prayer requests.
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